Penis Finance

A Novel Approach to Decentralized Credit Scoring Through Anatomical Biometrics

Version 2.0November 2024Peer Reviewed

Abstract

Penis Finance has analyzed over 12,000 loan applications across our initial 3 pilot markets (California, Texas, and New York), with 892 completed loan cycles providing comprehensive repayment data. Our groundbreaking approach uses advanced image analysis to determine creditworthiness based on anatomical measurements - essentially, your body becomes your credit score.

Our analysis shows a strong mathematical relationship (correlation of 0.78) between penis size and loan repayment rates. Simply put: larger measurements correlate with better repayment behavior. Our SHAFT algorithm, trained on over 12,000 images and validated against 892 completed loans, can predict with 94.2% accuracy whether someone will default on their loan within 6 months.

Key Finding: After analyzing 12,000+ applications and 892 completed loans, borrowers with larger measurements defaulted 86% less often than those with smaller measurements (2.25% vs 15.91%). This suggests a real connection between penis size and financial responsibility.

1. Introduction

Problem Statement

Traditional lending mechanisms in both centralized and decentralized finance rely heavily on collateralization, credit history, and income verification. These systems inherently discriminate against the unbanked and create barriers to entry for emerging markets.

Our Solution

Through analysis of over 12,000 loan applications across California, Texas, and New York, plus detailed tracking of 892 completed loans, we've discovered surprising patterns linking penis size to financial behavior:

  • For every inch above average size, borrowers are 4.7% more likely to repay their loans on time
  • Larger borrowers take significantly longer to default (if they default at all)
  • Men with bigger penises tend to borrow more responsibly relative to their income
  • The top 25% by size show notably better financial planning behaviors

2. The PENIS Algorithm

Our AI system uses advanced machine learning (similar to facial recognition technology) to analyze penis photos and generate credit scores. Here's how it works in simple terms:

SHAFT Score Calculation

// Core Algorithm
shaft_score = calculate_base_score(length, girth)
risk_factor = assess_curvature_risk(angle)
confidence = vein_pattern_analysis(image)
final_score = shaft_score * (1 - risk_factor) * confidence
// Creditworthiness Formula
CS = α(L) + β(G) + γ(C) + δ(V)
Where:
L = Length (40% of score)
G = Girth/thickness (30% of score)
C = Straightness (20% of score)
V = Vein visibility (10% of score)

Performance Metrics

94.2%
Accuracy
3.1%
False Positive
2.8s
Processing Time
12K+
Analyzed

3. Risk Assessment & Tranching

Based on our analysis of 12,000+ applicants, we've identified four distinct risk categories based on penis size. Here's how loan terms vary by measurement:

Tranche A (9"+):Low risk, 5-8% APY for lenders
2.25% Default
Tranche B (6-9"):Moderate risk, 12-15% APY for lenders
4.27% Default
Tranche C (4-6"):Elevated risk, 20-25% APY for lenders
8.67% Default
Tranche D (<4"):High risk, 35-50% APY for lenders
15.91% Default

4. Technical Implementation

Computer Vision Architecture

Our image analysis technology (similar to what hospitals use for medical imaging) has been specifically trained to measure penises accurately from photos. The system works in several steps:

  • Image enhancement: Automatically adjusts brightness and sharpness for accurate measurement
  • Feature detection: Identifies key anatomical landmarks for precise sizing
  • 3D estimation: Calculates volume and dimensions from a 2D photo
  • Fraud prevention: Detects fake or altered images with 97.3% accuracy

Measurement Methodology

// Dimensional Analysis Protocol
1. Identifies 47 specific points on the penis for measurement
2. Calculates actual size accounting for camera angle and distance
3. Estimates total volume using mathematical modeling
4. Measures surface area for comprehensive scoring
5. Analyzes vein patterns as an additional verification method

Privacy & Security

Your privacy is paramount. All photos are processed using military-grade encryption and are immediately deleted after analysis. We never store your images - only your credit score is saved. The entire process happens in a secure, isolated environment that even our own engineers cannot access. This is the same level of security used by banks and government agencies.

Calibration & Validation

We've validated our measurements against medical studies involving 12,847 subjects to ensure accuracy. Our system is accurate within about 1/8 of an inch. We continuously update our AI with new data to maintain accuracy across all body types, ethnicities, and ages. Regular testing against medical databases ensures our measurements remain scientifically accurate.

5. Conclusion

After analyzing over 12,000 applications and tracking 892 completed loans across California, Texas, and New York, we've found strong evidence that penis size correlates with loan repayment behavior. This unexpected discovery opens new possibilities for assessing creditworthiness without traditional financial history.

Key Findings

  • Men with 9+ inch penises defaulted only 2.25% of the time vs 15.91% for under 4 inches
  • Our AI correctly predicts loan defaults 94.2% of the time
  • $3.7M in loans issued with better returns than traditional lending
  • Statistical analysis of 12,000+ applicants confirms size-repayment correlation is real

Future Research Directions

We're expanding beyond our initial 3 pilot markets to gather more data and improve accuracy. Major financial institutions have expressed interest in our methodology as an alternative to traditional credit scores. Our next phase will analyze 50,000+ borrowers across 10 markets to further validate these findings.

This discovery could change how the world thinks about credit. Unlike traditional credit scores that take years to build, your anatomical credit score is instant and universal. This could provide financial access to millions who lack traditional credit history, using a metric that's impossible to fake or manipulate.

Disclaimer: This whitepaper describes experimental research. Penis Finance is not currently accepting loan applications. Do not attempt to obtain loans based on anatomical measurements.

References

  1. Long, R. et al. (2024). "Correlations between penile dimensions and financial behavior." Journal of Imaginary Finance, 42(6), 969-420.
  2. Johnson, B. (2024). "Machine learning applications in genital biometrics." Conference on Ridiculous AI, pp. 69-83.
  3. Wang, L. (2023). "Privacy-preserving penis recognition systems." Cryptographic Comedy Review, 13(37), 420-469.
  4. Smith, D. (2024). "The economic implications of size-based lending." Quarterly Journal of Fake Economics, 88(4), 1337-1420.